A
guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure,
and luckily, the family dog sits on the floor at his feet. Hence decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts a hardly audible one, and the father yells, "Spot!.. get away from there!"
"Great," the guy thought, "they think the dog did it!" So he releases a second one, a clearly audible one this time, and the father again yells for the dog to get away from there.
Finally he let go the rest, a heavy long rumbler, which even made the dog yelp, and the father yells, "Dammit Spot!... get the heck away from there before he shits on you!"
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure,
and luckily, the family dog sits on the floor at his feet. Hence decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts a hardly audible one, and the father yells, "Spot!.. get away from there!"
"Great," the guy thought, "they think the dog did it!" So he releases a second one, a clearly audible one this time, and the father again yells for the dog to get away from there.
Finally he let go the rest, a heavy long rumbler, which even made the dog yelp, and the father yells, "Dammit Spot!... get the heck away from there before he shits on you!"
A
I think it was old Confucius who ones said, "Do not prevent farts to come out. 'Cause if you do, they will travel up your spine, all the way up to your brain... and that's what all silly thoughts and statements come from.
Well, judging from all the ridiculous things late president Bush said during his time as a puppet in the White House, he has most definitely never heard about those wise words from the Chinese philosopher. However, judging from the picture above, he did let loose from time to time, and had great fun doing just that.
Funny Bush Quotes, proving that Confucius was right, - "Let the farts out!"
They misunderestimated me.
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
Reading is the basics for all learning.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
My views are one that speaks to freedom.
And it’s a struggle between good and it’s a struggle between evil.
We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.
Our nation must come together to unite.
If you choose to do so, when Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal.
Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
If you don’t stand for anything, you don’t stand for anything!
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family
This very week in 1989, there were protests in East Berlin and in Leipzig. By the end of that year, every communist dictatorship in Central America had collapsed.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
I think we agree, the past is over.
They misunderestimated me.
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
Reading is the basics for all learning.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
My views are one that speaks to freedom.
And it’s a struggle between good and it’s a struggle between evil.
We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.
Our nation must come together to unite.
If you choose to do so, when Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal.
Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
If you don’t stand for anything, you don’t stand for anything!
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family
This very week in 1989, there were protests in East Berlin and in Leipzig. By the end of that year, every communist dictatorship in Central America had collapsed.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
I think we agree, the past is over.
A picture from the Bush family photo album
... and here follows a couple of my favourite fart jokes
n elderly woman pays a visit to a doctor. Sitting in front of him she says, -"I have a very bad case of flatulence doctor. They come absolutely silent, and neither do they have any nasty odour, but the pain is unbearable. It is in fact so bad, doctor, that I have farted five or six times during the short time I have been sitting here in front of you!"
The doctor nodded at her, and wrote down a prescription for some pills and an appointment for her to come back and see him the following week.
When she came back the next week, she was very upset, imediately yelling at the doctor, -"What on earth were those pills you prescribed doctor? Now, my flatus is so thundering loud that they wake me up at night! Last night I even woke up my next door neighbour! Terrible!"
The doctor gave her a friendly smile and said, -"Very good Mrs. Bush, you have recovered your hearing, and now we shall hav a look at your sinuses."
The doctor nodded at her, and wrote down a prescription for some pills and an appointment for her to come back and see him the following week.
When she came back the next week, she was very upset, imediately yelling at the doctor, -"What on earth were those pills you prescribed doctor? Now, my flatus is so thundering loud that they wake me up at night! Last night I even woke up my next door neighbour! Terrible!"
The doctor gave her a friendly smile and said, -"Very good Mrs. Bush, you have recovered your hearing, and now we shall hav a look at your sinuses."
Some fart 'n fun
Some fart 'n fun
You'll find a great "blame it on the dog" behind this screen- licker
